Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song

Drop a heart, break a name

Jeff spent the last month trying to convince me to get back together with him. I finally decided that I wanted to try it again and he has decided that he can't get back together with me because he wants to move away. And they say girls are complicated and confusing. I'm beyond hurt this time. I don't understand at all. Thursday night he was telling me he'd stay in Columbus if we got back together and then on Saturday night he doesn't know. He once called me bipolar; maybe he needs to look in the mirror.

I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken
I come undone in this mad season

And now I'm cryin'
Isn't that what you want?
I'm tryin' to live my life on my own
But I won't, no,
At times I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I, I, I feel stupid
And I come undone
And I come undone

I don't know normally do these, but here's my life soundtrack (based on my ipod on shuffle):

1st Day of School: Ms. New Booty
I don't even know what to say about that.

Falling in Love: Unwell
I'd say that strangely sums me up. Especially recently.

Fight Song: Get Drunk & Screw
haha I won't even go there.

Breaking Up: Motorcycle Drive By
This is actually my number one break up song. I'll get over you, you'll wonder who I am.

Mental Breakdown: Walk On
Again, ultra applicable. I remember listening to this song all the time last spring when I was having a rough time getting through some stuff.

Wedding: All Eyes on Me
Seems to make sense.

Final Battle: Someone to Call My Lover
Does that mean that my whole life is going to be about finding the one? I'd like to think I'll settle that battle in the next 10 years and live much longer.

Death Scene: Jack & Diane
I'd buy it. I love that song. I wouldn't be upset if it was playing when I died.

End Credits: You Get What You Give
Sure. Why not?

Christian and I are two days away from getting our apartment for next year. We've decided to go with North Steppe and are going to live at 13th & Summit or King & Neil. We're looking at the apartments again Wednesday morning and then signing a lease. There's a small possibility of one other apartment pretty far off campus, but I don't think we're going to live there. I'm really excited to have a place secured and start making plans for next year. The location at 13th & Summit is definately better for me, but the apartment at King & Neil is much larger. The price is the same and a little more than other apartments we looked at, but I'd rather spend a little more and get a better apartment. Next year is definately going to be interesting.

Last night I hit my head hard enough I slept on an ice pack. I need to stop drinking so much and then getting in fights with drunk guys when I do. I also came home with three other bruises I don't remember getting and a cut. Especially since I'm not winning any fights this needs to stop. Perhaps I should learn to drunk dial instead of drunk fight. Or maybe I just shouldn't drink into the double digits in a few hours. That might be the trouble.

I get to my 9:30am Game Theory, 600 level Econ class, to find out it's probably the hardest econ class offered at the undergrad level here and it's all math. Our tests will look more like math tests than econ tests. I was told some people do very well getting 96-98 on the midterm/final and others will get 6's. Anything above a 50% is guaranteed to pass. Do I freak out? No, I get excited. I haven't had a math class since freshman year and I miss it. I'm pumped to become someone who gets a 98%. Hopefully I can pull it off. I haven't had a class I'm excited about in awhile. I think this finally proves once and for all what a dork I am though. I'm excited for a hard math intensive class?

Seriously. How can I always be looking for roomates and a place to live? After freshman year, things got screwed up in the dorms living with Jessica so I decided to get an apartment with a random roomate at the last minute. Last summer things fell through and I ended up living with Lisa at the last minute and then Theta Xi. Now I'm having trouble figuring out where I'm going to live this summer. But more importantly, Linda just found out she didn't get into law school at Ohio State. Again, I'm left trying to figure out where I'm going to live and who I'm going to live with. All of my friends are living in greek housing. How does this always happen to me?

I can't figure out what I want out of life. I'm 21 and should have everything figured out by now. I mean, I guess I'm going to law school. I've got that much figured out. But I don't have the slightest clue if I want to stay in Columbus or move far away. All I really know is that I enjoy getting drunk and having a good time with my friends. Too bad you can't make a living doing that. Until then, here's a toast to figuring it out.

I had been thinking I want to go to OSU for law school. All of my friends and family are here, but recently I've started to feel trapped in Ohio. Last night it was a clear night and I just wanted to see the stars, but it's too bright here on campus. I fell asleep with my window open listening to traffic. I want to fall asleep listening to the water. I might not go all the way to California, but I'm going to seriously consider the East Coast. I won't be able to see the stars or hear the ocean while I'm in school, but at least it will be a possibility for after I graduate. I want a fresh start and a chance to get away from it all.

I feel too young to be making decisions about the rest of my life, but I'm gettinng old, aren't I?

Turkey day was interesting as always. The crazy aunt and uncle from Indiana drove over and were late, as always. This year though my mom was smart enough to tell them we'd be eating an hour before we planned to. My grandma threw a fit about who my uncle and cousin were dating and how they are not invited to Christmas. Yet, I was told I'm more than welcome to bring a friend. That cracks me up. I will never understand her. After way more than enough family, I finished my scrapbook for Meagan- wohoo! Now I just need to survive the rest of the weekend in Toledo and figure out what I'm going to do here for 3 weeks over Christmas or I might just die or boredom.

We had turkey dinner with the Alpha Sigs last night. Made me realize how lucky I am to have such great friends. A few of us got a little drunk, as always, and there were lots of shenanigans. I got some great pictures up on facebook of everyone. Heading home for the weekend today, should be a good time too. Plan on catching up on sleep, making Meagan's scrapbook, and eating a lot of good food. Maybe some shopping too.

Can't wait for Arizona in just over a month. Lisa & I got our tickets! WOHOO!!!! Senior year is turning out to be a great year.